The Emotional Ladder

I was reading the Evening Standard yesterday and Boris was talking up the opportunities for London 2009. I've heard lots of these conversations now - people out upbeating each other - 'think 2009 is going to be a better year than expected to this is going to be the best year yet'. Unsurprisingly mostly these people talking have tended to be at the top of the tree rather than the lower branches; many of which will inevitably need to be pruned slightly by the tree surgeons.

However thrilling it is to spread exciting positive thinking, it isn't always catching. Moods aren't instant - they build and change - unless you have a major change eg win business, catch a trout, find that perfect pair of shoes / handbag / tie you can't just go from sad to happy in one straight move.

The following is a suggested emotional ladder by a couple of kinesiologists (don't ask). It works like this pick the level of emotion that you are at eg say worry - you need to train your thinking (thoughts lead emotions which lead thoughts etc) up the ladder to happier thinking so to take the example go from I am worried that I will lose my job to I doubt that I will keep my job to, I doubt that they will be able to complete this project without me, to I will be disappointed if I lose my job to I can't imagine how I will cope without this job to it's bloody irritating if i lose this job after all the hard work to i am really unlikely to get another job to it'll be really boring looking for a new job to some of the work i do at the moment is mind numbing, it could be good to get new opportunities, 3 months cash right now would last me 6 months at least, i could do the consultancy that has been offered before which would be good, even if they do show me the door there are lots of friends that seem to be able to make a living on their own, a couple of years pursuing other ideas and things could work. I can live off some of the savings and i wouldn't want to spend the amount i do now anyway, in fact right now i'd start up that idea i had three years ago, so each month i get now is a bonus and if i start saving better now i can afford to leave of my own accord at some point, if i just think about all the experience i have and make sure i network more and keep in touch with people then if it happens i can get going quite quickly in fact i'll start working on my ideas this evening and make a few calls to arrange to catch up with people, so even if the worst comes to the worst which actually it hasn't i will be in good shape...or similar.

the more you train your brain to understand moods as changing and in many ways disconnected to the reality of life, the more you can stay at the higher level of life experience, have a go, see if it works, what's to lose? Just before the cynic jumps in and tells you it's bloody rubbish - remember reality is what you make it and mostly that is what you tell yourself - here's a real example of the effect of positive / negative emotions on reality

Children were divided into two groups and asked to work alone on a project - with some mini chocolate biscuits for company - children from one group were told individually that they had to work on their own because no-one else wanted to work with them and children from the other group were told individually that they had to work on their own because everyone wanted to work with them, and that that would be impossible. Guess what? The children that thought they were popular ate 4.5 biscuits during the work period and the children that thought they were unpopular ate 9 biscuits in the same period! See how perception can change reality. Here's the emotional ladder for you to have a look at.

Fear/ grief/ depression / despair / powerlessness
Insecurity / guilt / unworthiness
Jealousy
Hatred / rage
Revenge
Anger
Discouragement
Blame
Worry
Doubt
Disappointment
Overwhelment
Frustration / irritation / impatience
Pessimism
Boredom
Contentment
Hopefulness
Optimism
Positive expectation / belief
Enthusiasm / eagerness / happiness
Passion
Joy / knowledge / empowerment / freedom / love / appreciation